crazy life · family

Weight is Crazy

Ok, so there are some deep dark secrets being revealed here, but nothing too earth shattering. I have to say after three kids my body is not what it once was. Where I use to be lean and tone, I’m not round and squishy. Think of me as a big momma teddy bear. Soft and cuddly with the right amount of stuffing.

There was a time when I was a young spry sixteen year old, who weighed 150 lbs, and had a terrible body image of herself and though she was fat. I only wish I was the “fat” now.

In an earlier post I said I was not ready to lose weight, and this is still true. I have a love hate relationship with my weight. Someday it does not bother me, and others it make me want to shut myself away from the world never to come out and be seen. But losing weight is not what I want to talk about. I will post on this again when I’m ready.

What I want to talk about is body image. We all have created something in our head about what our body looks like. Some of us have a more distorted view than other. There was a time when what I saw in the mirror was nothing but flaws. I think this is normal for most girls, but why does it have to be normal.

I have two beautiful girls who are already worrying about what they look like, in some aspects, and this makes me worried. I want my girls to grow up having a good body image of themselves. I want them to understand that there are things we don’t like about ourselves, but these should not be something that should hold us back. I know this coming from me as their mom does not hold as much weight as what a friend will say or even the way boys tease girls. I can’t change how other people see my children, but I can make sure I let them know what I think of them.

Anyway, when I was a teenager, I looked around at my friends and always thought they were prettier, smarter, thinner, and more athletic. I know now that this is not true, except maybe the athletic, anyone who knows me knows I not a sports person, but at the time I could not look past my own insecurities to see this.

As I’ve grown up, my body has been a blessing and a curse. There are things I really like, including my eyes, my hair, and legs from the knees down.  There are things I hate, including my stomach area, hips and thighs. I know there are things I can do to improve these areas, but I don’t know if it will change my perception of these areas or how I feel about them.

These are the same areas that I’ve always hated, and I think if I live to be 100, I will still hate them. I know I will never be a supermodel, or any kind of model for that matter, but I’m working on how I see myself. I know other people probably don’t see my flaws the way I do, but there is always that voice of doubt that reminds us. I’m working on squashing that voice. It has no place in my head, or anyone else’s head either.

My challenge to myself and everyone else is to find a way to love your flaws. They add character to who you are and make the world a better place. There is nothing wrong with flaws. Embrace your differences.

I love to hear from readers, so leave your comments below.

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